Ignite Your Confidence with Karen Laos

Say Goodbye to People Pleasing

Episode Notes

Ever wonder how you’ll ever stop people-pleasing and say yes to yourself instead? This episode is for you!
 

  1. Set small boundaries first. Start with low-stakes situations to practice saying no or expressing your preferences. For example, choosing the restaurant when asked, or declining a small favor when you're genuinely busy. These smaller moments build your confidence for bigger boundary-setting situations.
  2. Pause before automatically agreeing. When someone asks something of you, try responding with "Let me check my schedule and get back to you" or "I need to think about that." This brief delay gives you space to consider what you actually want to do rather than reflexively saying yes to avoid disappointing someone.
  3. Remember that disappointment isn't dangerous. People-pleasers often fear others' negative reactions, but someone being temporarily disappointed or mildly upset doesn't mean you've done something wrong or that the relationship is in jeopardy. Most healthy relationships can handle occasional "no" responses, and those that can't may need reevaluation.
  4. Notice your internal warning signs. Pay attention to feelings of resentment, exhaustion, or anxiety that often accompany over-committing. These emotions are signals that you're stretching yourself too thin to accommodate others. When you catch these feelings early, you can course-correct before burning out.
  5. Practice stating your needs directly. Instead of hinting or hoping others will guess what you want, try expressing yourself clearly. Say "I'd prefer to meet at 2 PM" rather than "Whatever time works for you is fine." Direct communication often leads to better outcomes and reduces the mental energy spent on trying to read between the lines.

The key is building these skills gradually. People-pleasing patterns developed over time, so changing them takes patience and consistent practice.

 

Some resources for you:

Want to see how you score as a confident communicator? 

Take The Confidence Cocktail Assessment: https://karenlaos.com/confidence-cocktail-fb/

Project more confidence and credibility with my free tips: 9 Words to Avoid & What to Say Instead: https://karenlaos.lpages.co/words-to-avoid/

My book “Trust Your Own Voice”: https://karenlaos.com/book/

Episodes also available on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEwQoTGdJX5eME0ccBKiKng/videos